THE EXECUTION OF A CHUMP

this morning cipha and rosenberg chopped it up about this statement released to the public and picked up by many outlets… the duo go in on the “letter” that was written by guru. i did the same thing yesterday morning, from about 9:30 to noon. after countless explanations to friends on aim and gchat, going over the same points, over and over, i had to get up and go for a walk. straight up fuming. more i thought about it, more i wanted to find this chump and yoke ‘im up. homey needs a donnybrooking stat. i can’t even believe how infuriating it is to deal with this ish when you’re trying to get past a friend’s passing… but i feel the need to publish my anger, so gu, forgive me, i’m tryna let you rest, but i ain’t feelin your mans. so, without further ado, my 2 cents:

intro paragraph

lotta suspect shit going on in here. first of all, the opening statement. like ciph and rosenberg said, anyone who starts a letter like that? is suspect as fuck. usually, there’s a cop and a lawyer standing around when you start writing ish like that. now, to further my point, guru was a man with a very unique diction. and his style of writing was almost completely the same as his style of speech. in short, dude don’t talk or write like that. ever.

then, we have the point where “guru” “writes”, “I have had a long battle with cancer and have succumbed to the disease.” so… he died? peep this, guru was in grad school before he dropped out to be a rapper, and has always been extremely eloquent. a wordsmith in the truest fashion. the man was deliberate about the words he chose, and in a situation this serious? i know he would’ve chosen wiser.

now we go onto this supposed foundation. fuck, miss info goes in on that one. but for those interested, a brand new website has popped up since her initial research. seriously, try to alexa some web stats, there’s no history… sketchy.

paragraph 2

what bugs me, about this particular paragraph is the mention of kc, guru’s son. guru, as long as i have known him, was an extremely spiritual and very loving dude. but to mention your mans solar 3 times, while mentioning his son, “the love of [his] life”, only once… and pretty much… only to give custody to solar… it just doesn’t add up. oh, and then of course, if there were any tributes or awards coming to guru in death, he mentions that solar will take care of it all, to be given to his son at a later age… word??? who thinks about awards and tributes on their deathbed? that’s more what a super producer would be thinking about as his main cash cow rapper is fading in front of his eyes, whaaaat? who said that?

now… the last paragraph

the one that really makes me want to go out and kick babies in the head. “my ex-dj.” first of all… guru was a man. never did i doubt that. and as a man, not a coward, i know that even if he wanted to continue this rift in the afterlife, he would address him by name. i only know one dude who is allergic to the uttering of the word ‘premier’ and that is… the superest producer of all. now, even more fishy… this paragraph goes from addressing premo and gang starr as a brand into what i can only call, a solar fan letter. he discusses jazzmatazz 4 in particluar, multiple times. now… me being a bit of a conspiracy theorist, these multiple shout outs of jazzmatazz 4 raise mad red flags. why you ask? see in the music industry, unfortunately, when people pass… their music sells. you woulda been shocked to see how many people didn’t have the thriller album until after mj passed, the soundscan spike was out of hand. jazzmatazz 4 was released on 7 grand, which is owned now, solely by solar. so all proceeds from the sales? go to solar. then the rest of the paragraph basically reads, solar solar solar solar solar… solar.

real talk people, this is not a letter written by guru to his fans. this was a letter written (poorly might i add) by some shitty publicist (probably at yo! pr, shame on you people… shame) with solar injecting his creative genius for his own money. lets be real. what is solar most famous for? putting guru on autotune. which really, doesn’t even make sense mathematically. put a notoriously monotone mc, whose famous for his monotone delivery, on a fucking vocoder filter? da fuck you gonna filter? one tone? jackass. and really, never trust a producer who refers to himself as a “superproducer”. that dude is the wackest person in the game ever, who the fuck body snatches a corpse and threatens to cremate a man before his family even has a chance to pay their respects or even see the remains (i hear the family recovered gu’s body earlier today, shit is like a fucking telenovella)? who the fuck is already talking about doing tribute shows for their own profitable gain? that’s some creepy ass, sketchy ass, fraudlent, foul shit dude. i feel sorry for your mother.

and i’m calling it right now, this fuckstick is going to start selling gang starr merchandise in 2 weeks, pitch his biography to publishers in 3, then next year, he’ll try to pitch a movie. and i’ll put money on that. go head, bet me. i dare you.

oh… and #fucksolar. i hope it keeps you awake at night knowing that your dastardly ways kept many people from being able to say goodbye to a friend. and maaaan… i hope i see you on the street, i been dying try a sucker arm triangle choke on somone.